Chelek 34, Aseres Yemei Teshuvah
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馃挄馃挄馃挄
Written by S.K.
When the King Is So Close
For Aseres Yemei Teshuvah
讚专砖讜 讛׳ 讘讛诪爪讗讜
拽专讗讜讛讜 讘讛讬讜转讜 拽专讜讘
These are the days
when my Eibershter is so close.
Not waiting at a distance
for me to become worthy.
Not asking me first
to prove that I deserve His love.
I am His child.
Before my mitzvah,
before my Teshuvah,
before I have repaired yesterday—
I am His.
And His love for me
is deeper than anything
I could earn.
When I stumble,
when I choose something
other than what He desires,
He does not stop loving me.
Sometimes I pull away.
I feel ashamed.
I hide.
I imagine that after what I've done,
how can I possibly come close?
And my Eibershter says:
Come closer.
That is Teshuvah.
Not running from the One
I disappointed,
but returning to the One
Who never stopped loving me.
砖讜讘讛 讬砖专讗诇 注讚 讛׳ 讗诇拽讬讱
Return.
Return because you belong to Me.
Return because I am near.
Return because nothing
can sever the bond
between a Yid and Hashem.
And when I truly understand
how unconditionally I am loved,
does that make me complacent?
On the contrary.
It makes me want
one more mitzvah,
and another,
and another.
A lot more Torah.
A lot more tzedakah.
A lot more patience.
A lot more kindness.
A lot more of myself
given to Hashem.
Not because I am frightened
that He will stop loving me.
He won't.
Not because I need
to earn my place with Him.
I already belong.
I serve because I am loved.
And the more deeply
I feel His love,
the more I want to serve Him
above and beyond.
These ten days
are not days for me to hide.
They are days to discover
how close He has been
all along.
Eibershter,
I don't serve You
so that You will love me.
I serve You
because You love me.
Your unconditional love
doesn't cause me to be complacent.
On the contrary.
It makes me want
to give You more,
to come closer,
to serve You
above and beyond.
The King is close.
My Father is close.
And I am His child.
What a privilege.
What an honor.
I get to spend my life
serving my loving Eibershter.
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